The comparisons are not flattering. My time for the L’Etape du Tour Acte 2 was 9 hrs 38 minutes; Four days later, Thomas Voeckler completed the same 201km from Pau to Bagnères du Luchon in 5 hrs 35 minutes. It was a fantastic ride; I watched the live coverage from start to finish as Voeckler gritted his teeth and seized the polka dot jersey. Compared to me and the four and a half thousand other weekend warriors on the Etape, the pros are incredible. Even the skinny whippet that finished first in the Etape would have finished half an hour after the last pro crossed the line.

And yet… as I watched the French crowd cheer Voeckler to the finish, I couldn’t help feeling like I’d had a wee glimpse into his world. I might just be laikin’ at it (as we say in Yorkshire), but I certainly shared some of the triumph that Voeckler felt as I rode up the beautiful tree-lined Allée d’Etigny to the finish in Luchon.

I was pleased just to get to the start after the failure of my “best bike” after Etape Acte 1. Don’t get me started on BB30 bottom brackets, but suffice to say, when the success of the bearing depends on its interference fit with the frame, that fit better not fail… Mercifully Luchon-MTB came to the rescue to rent me a full carbon Massi Team Pro, cheerfully they swapped on my saddle and pedals and matched my fit pretty much spot on.

Bastille Day Dawns

Saturday 14^th July dawned cloudy, but the forecast was for sunny intervals as cyclist rolled in from all parts of Pau to the giant start pens on Le Place de Verdun. Each pen is graded on past results and released in turn, so the fastest riders get a clear run and each subsequent pen quickly sorts itself out into well matched bunches on the road.

Penned up in Pau and Ready to Go

We clipped along at a 21mph average up the valley towards the foot of the Col d’Aubisque and I was pleased to be getting some time in the bank before the climbs began (I had to average 11.5mph to get to Luchon before the rental shop shut… No pressure!)

All was looking good. My legs had more than recovered from the previous week and I felt pretty strong. The cloud wasn’t burning off yet, but I was happy to keep cool on this first climb. By the time we reached the ski station of Gourette at 1300m we were well and truly into the cloud and it was raining (I’m not sure how, but it was raining inside the cloud, yet not falling underneath it). I was cursing now, partly because I was only wearing a short sleeved shirt, but also because I’d been looking forward to the beautiful views that Tony P and Justin had been waxing lyrical about a couple of weeks earlier.

Cold Descent, Warm Bananas

By the summit I was wet through and the temperature was just 5°C. A gilet was my only extra cover as I hit the descent. Wet roads, 100 yards visibility and freezing cold; no fun to be had here. After 8km of descent, there was the short 2km climb to the Col de Soulor which was a blessed relief as it provided a chance to warm up. By the time I finished the following 20km of descent into the feed station at Argelès-Gazost my teeth were chattering uncontrollably. Down in the valley it was actually quite warm; relative to my body temperature, the bananas felt like they’d come out of the microwave!

I quickly warmed up on the ride up the valley towards Luz-Saint-Sauveur and the start of the Tourmalet. At this point I was riding alongside a lean looking Frenchman who gestured at a group of thirty riders about 500 metres up the road and without speaking we picked up the pace and worked together to get onto the back of the bunch. We didn’t need to; truth told if we wanted the shelter of a bunch we could just as easily have eased off and waited for the next passing group to hook onto, but the spirit of the event gets to you and for a minute you’re not riding with 4500 wannabees, but bridging across to a breakaway in the Tour…

Of course we weren’t in the Tour, we were at the bottom of the Col du Tourmalet. It’s a long way up and it was clear that the cloud wasn’t going anywhere today…

Tourmalet Summit – nothing to see here!

I didn’t see much of the Pyrenees all day; The Tourmalet was a long grind into cloud, which turned into cold rain as soon as I passed over the summit. The long descent was a 25mph torture in wet lycra.  At the bottom of the Tourmalet there were plenty of riders climbing off their bikes and calling it a day, although we were more than two hours ahead of the cut-off. The organisers of L’Etape are pretty strict with the cut off times and because of the sheer numbers, the “broom wagon” is actually a series of big red Norbert Dentressangle trucks into which bikes are tossed by burly Frenchmen who then guide riders to the accompanying coaches for transport to the finish. Despite the conditions though, 3829 out of the 4696 starters completed the stage.

No Match for the Pros

With the Tourmalet over I knew I could finish – just 36 miles to go. The climb of the Col d’Aspin was trouble free and mercifully the fickle weather in the mountains meant this time the descent was dry and I was able to cut loose. With full visibility I could take advantage of the long straight runs between each hairpin. After the baptism of fire (well rain) on the Aubisque I’d got used to the handling of the rental bike so I was able to enjoy this descent. The last climb of the day, the Col de Peyresourde, starts with a long false flat before the gradient sits around 8% for the 7km to the summit. At the top the rain had come again, but by this point I was just thinking about finishing.

Wet But Happy at the Top of the Peyresourde

I’ve had to work quite hard to tackle both Etape’s. Lots of base winter miles, (with thanks to the Wednesday Wheelers for making large chunks of them enjoyably social), combined with high intensity intervals on the turbo in front of the telly, and a few UK sportives to get some hills in (did I say I liked hills?!). I’ve improved my position a bit, finishing closer to the top third as opposed to just squeaking into the top half like last year and I’ve been able to enjoy cycling some of the legendary cols of France. But perhaps the most notable thing I shall take away from this is a genuine appreciation of what takes to be a pro cyclist and some tiny insight into the demands of riding the tour. As I write, the country is celebrating an historic victory for Bradley Wiggins; I’m grateful that my short time “laikin’ at it” has made me realise just what an awesome achievement that is.

The last 15km, descending down into Luchon, riding through the town and up the Allée d’Etigny will be a memory for me to treasure. I’ll never be anywhere near as good as the pros or even the skinny whippet amateurs at the head of the Etape, but it was a fantastic feeling just to finish the two big mountain stages of the 2012 Tour de France.

Garmin can be seen here…

Michael Lawson July 2012